At home - Getting Carried Away

This ones wat I wud put in a dairy rather than a blog. But since i dont maintain a dairy i ll put it here.
I have been at home for an extraordinarily long time this time around. Five full days. What did i do? - Orkutting, Gtalking and catching up with old friends, while at the the bug count(work) has kept increasing...a four-week high i guess... arun if u read this u can correct me. Though I vowed never to check office mails, I couldnt resisit looking at the bug count.

So back home , I have been uncharacteristically social, met friends, went to college, TALKED to teachers. These friends are ones who live in the same city as I, somehow it never struck me( or them) that we shud have met there. However, we got to meet now.I have promised myself I will never do the mistake of losing touch with friends. But sometimes you feel like you are not wanted ........digressing, I ll stop.

I was wanting to visit college for a long time, but going alone wud have been a waste of time, I wasnt exactly what you call "popular". Infact , the only reason I am remembered at all is because of a skirmish with my HOD in the last semester. And when i did meet him, he left me in no doubt , he remembered, too vividly for my liking. But the emotion was different, I could see pride on his face, proud of my retaliation, happy that i had stood up to him when my integrity was being questioned. We were lucky to have found 5 of our teachers in one room, they were asking bout a lot of ppl- dead, alive,happily married, broken-hearted,everyone. An emotional conversation which I cant put into words, even if I were beeter with words.

I never thought these things would happen one day- you know what, we had tea together, and I (we) was stupid enough not to carry any money,(I had 20 rupees and my debit card) they bought us tea and coffee and bajji. One lesson I learnt, have some clothes back home too. I usually come home, spend the weekend in banian and pyjama and go back in the same costume (u know which one) . This time I had to make do with a red shirt and almost grey pant to go with my brother's old over-sized shoes, it was not a pretty sight I assure you. we had decided to meet near the XEROX shop.....tats how we call it. I was already uncomfortable in my dress, and my friends' reactions on seeing me only worsened my state. At no stage in my life was I a good dresser, but this was over the top. With determination, we proceeded into the E-block (EE,EC,CSE,IT depts are housed here).
The college itself has changed or rather is being changed a lot. The bridge across the avinashi road has been built at last. Not yet operational though. The A-Hall/cafetaria building is being redesigned. Ours was never a big campus, and now tat the population has grown , I see that all structures are going UP. A lot of things have changed but even more things are the same. The capsule lift , the voice in the lift, the computer centre, our classroom near the lawn (A-block).
With the classroom comes other memories,which I have fought hard to forget, relationships and their complexities, what it feels like to be ditched, moments wen u feel inferior,the great times and the sad times...favouritism, intelligence.... lectures...the place where she used to sit........those secret LOOKS during lectures....simply overwhelming!!!
If this is how it is after one year, I think I will have a major emotional problem IF I come back later in life. Some things I have resolved to do after this trip: re-establish those connections which have rusted over time, give ego a back seat and be the first one to say hi., give something back to the institution which gave me my life...... Lets see wat can be done.