Friday, June 8, 2007

FRIENDS

You know what I "worked form home" today(supposedly). It was booooring. It somehow doesnt feel like going to the office. Did I get some work done? well that I wouldnt comment upon.

I thought I would never write a post again. Reading and commenting is more fun.
However , here I am , pushing myself to write, just for the heck of it.

I wrote five posts, a fictional experience, a real-life experience, a love letter, a love story and a movie review......... and DELETED all the drafts.

Disclaimer:
I apologise for the incoherence in what you are about to read.

***********

Now that I have said My hello to the world, what next?
Let me talk about some serious structures. I think friends would be interesting.

I tried hard to define friendship , this is what google came up with "Caring for but never trying to own ".

When I think back , at the different kinds of friendships I had, I have this sour-sweet feeling. Dont know why? Feeling particularly lonely these days. Let me look back at those ppl I have found and lost and am searching for.

Some issues I had/have:

1) I always found it difficult to be friends with seniors (> 3 yrs). Still dont know why?
I could easily mingle with younger ppl and ppl of my age. I dont have a friend among my seniors at college or school . (Wont help my career :( )

2) I had never had girl friends (at school) , but was always attracted to the studious , inteligent girls, pretty faces were never an attraction to me. Infact had quite a few crushes (usually the top rankers)

3) I look for too much in a relationship and give too little till I receive.


First, there were the malayalee boys at KG school , I dont e ven remember their names. I somehow dont seem to connect with that life (age 2-7) and those friends are lost forever. There was nothing to BOND us together.

Then the move to coimbatore , we moved into a lower middle class locality with 1500 houses, with a lot of children in our age group (in any age group actually) . We chose our friends carefully, we were quite a gang.
This is where I developed some long lasting friendships , I still have contacts with most of these people, the BOND was CRICKET. You wouldnt believe it, we played cricket together for a litle over ten years , almost DAILY.

The friends at school were few and far in between. One gift I had was, I could connect with anyone, and was easily attracted to other ppls interests. So people who had remotely similar interests as me became my friends (no close friends). This was that stage in life when "how you look" doesnt determine how many friends u have. I have a "hi bye " relationship with a few , perhaps I dint do enough to maintain the bond.

Last few years at school flew past , I don remember having spent anytime with friends during this time. It was either school or tuition (that would require another post) or cricket.

Then came college, GOD was it great. The best part of my life from an emotional point of view.
The spirits were high, I made some truly great friends, great in every sense of the word. There were calls, treats, combined study, industrial visits, movies....coffe brown, cafe coffe day...etc....etc... (I wouldnt dream of going to either of these places now). The BOND was stronger this time around (or so I think). What was the bond? - I think GOALLESSNESS.

But as goals and plans started to materialise, the rift started, each one went his own way (me included). Now there are very few calls, almost no treats , not even meetings. Our Jobs dont help it either , whom to blame?

Well I am trying my best through orkut, facebook, Hi5 ....

Friends at the workplace? Posibilities are you will find a different person sitting in the adjacent cube every 3 months. Not enough time to forge a relationship I think......atleast for a guy like me

Thoughts:

To me , friends are to pass time. Dont make it a deeper relationship.

Dont look for a friend in need, waste of time. pessimistic huh ....how many would disagree?
( in my case i m reaping wat i sowed..... )


Just curious , How many of you would say you really have a friend who would do anything for you and be there for you always?

12 comments:

The Black King said...

Sorry to hear that you deleted all those posts.

About this one --- well, the problem with claiming that you'll be there for the person always is just impractical. Besides, good people (or at least people who match your mental frequency) are not rare, and definitely the last ones did not perish when you left your childhood. It is up to us to find newer friends all the time.

Stranger said...

black king >> actually only the drafts... dint actually post them..

I am for finding new friends all the time... but I was concerned bout wat was happening to the old ones.... the relationships look so meaningless now... may be i m just too depressed today....

Sankari Dhandapani said...

The first post was better ...

Superficial Gibbering prater said...

sabs..i think the temperature got to your head.i take this post more as a blabbering kids do when they have fever[:P].

one word of advice(ha ha who is the elder bro)..never look back at life with remorse and never ever think deeply about relationships

http://s-g-ina-corner-ofthe-world.blogspot.com/2007/05/sensesensibility-and-beyond.html

A "chicken" soup for ur soul(:))

Gin said...

read prophet by khalil gibran on friendship.... you'll might a new perspective ... And please don't work from home sabs.....we have too many FRs to fix :D

Shivani said...

I found this post very interesting, funny that its only now i realised that there might have been "commoness" to establish "bonds" . But sigh cricket??!!!! ... guess its a guys perspective :D
havent u hrd .. "u have truly lived a life if there are in the end atleast 4 true friends" .. find them! :) they are right there!!!!

Stranger said...

Sankari >>> thanks for reading.. I know it is hard to face the harsh truths of life. Will try and make the next one interesting....If I write.

prater >>>> Well , Thanks for the soup.

Arun >>> bugger x(

Shivani >>> Thanks for reading...u know wat 4 and $ are on the same key..... on the keyboard I mean.

Alpine Path said...

Interesting one :) But, though friendships change over time(like school and college friends who drift apart after a certain period), there are a few who would stick to you no matter what. Find them and you'll be the lucky. Do keep writing more.

Divya said...

It all boils down to one thing: What is the feeling you get when you reminisce about your friend/friends? Thats what counts.
And about the drift, that is how it is supposed to be. Life is like that!

Shivani said...

Wow !!! thats such a awesome way to say that what we deem to be important is our choice ...! they both are laid right there before us.. and we sometime "shift" to the $ ignoring the 4.. :)
good one.. keep writing!!

Stranger said...

Alpine Pah >> Thanks for the ENCOURAGEMENT.... you are too young to understand ;).....Kidding of course

Divya >> I am just wishing life was not like that. I HAVE said what I feel when I think back...dont u think?

Shivani >> What do I say??? :)

WOW!!... GR

Shiva said...

"I tried hard to define friendship "

I guess this is the trap that most of us fall into. We try to categorize our relationships into "hi-bye", close friends etc etc, which doesn't work and I realized it recently. take the words out, I mean, why are all of us bent on giving some word or the other to everything, by giving a word "friend", we tend to define "friend" then, expect more and when nothing materializes, get frustrated. Flow with the river and you seem to do that going by your last few lines...

Liked the post, it was incoherent, true, but sometimes incoherence lends passion :)